The Cynical Brothers

The old lorry trundled down the road coughing exhaust fumes, as the driver slammed through the gears to get up the last hill. Written on the side, you could just make out the words through the dirt, dust and grime – ‘The Cynical  Brothers – any job considered, no job too small’  – and riding on the flat bed, resting comfortable on a heap of ballast, sat John whistling to himself, happy to be out in the fresh air.

Inside the cab, Very Cynical changed gear once again revving the engine, as they swung round the corner. His younger  brother, Just a Bit Cynical, meanwhile read the sports in the local newspaper, puffing on a roll up.

“What  a useless football team, we never win anything, sack the manger I reckon” he shouted over the noise and rattle ” I could do a better job than that useless manager”.

“Yea right” retorted Very, “You skipped every PE lesson at school and got banned from the pub team for rugby tackling that guy, remember?”

Just a Bit slumped back in his seat ” Anyway, how did we get this job? A house with a load of doors and no keys, take all the doors off the hinges. Sounds nuts to me. Hope you agreed straight cash. Reckon we drop John off with a crowbar and leave him to it, he can’t muck this one up surely”

John had been with the company for six months and was supposed to be on an apprenticeship but mostly did the jobs the two brothers either found boring, or just plain hard work. Luckily he didn’t mind, particularly if he could be outside and if they let him take his dog too sometimes. The dog right at this moment was standing paws up in the side panel, barking at passing traffic and wagging his tail madly as he swayed with the lorry.

They turned the last corner and there in front if them was the house. “Bloody hell, why all those doors” exclaimed Just a Bit, leaning out of the side window for a better view. The dog, never one to miss an opportunity, lent round and licked him gently on the ear and tried to steal his cap, which irritated Just a Bit and he pushed the wet nose away, but made John laugh as he too looked at the building.

It was the strangest house any of them had seen. An old country mansion but with four doors on each side, then matching windows above. All shut and sealed.

“Well this is a strange one” grunted Very Cynical, pulling into the top of the drive and stopping. “Still, out you get John, take the crowbar and sledgehammer they should do you”.

John jumped down, hoisted the two tools onto his shoulder, climbed  over the five bar gate and set off down the drive whistling. The dog hurtled in and out of the hedgerows, sending birds flying  and setting the feeding rabbits running.

“Tell you what” said Just a Bit “How about we watch him on the first door before we go, have a little wager. I reckon it’ll be over twenty minutes to get it off, there’s no muscle on him. What about you?”. Just a Bit slapped a twenty pound note onto the dash board amongst the receipts, spare nails and yesterdays lunch wrappers. Very matched it with a similar creased and grubby note. “I say ten minutes max”. They both sat back and rolled cigarettes.

John arrived at the house and lent the tools against the first door, the dog on the whistle arrived and sat at his feet after giving the door step a good sniff and having a pee up the drain pipe. John looked at the lorry, guessed what  they were up to and smiled. He’d show them this time and he picked up the sledge hammer balancing it in his hands feeling the weight comfortable and balanced. Then he swung it in an arc bringing maximum momentum onto the first strike on the wood. The large oak door resounded to the boom of his hammer and cracked, splinters flying. He swung again, this time aiming at the lock and with a crash the door flew open, banging back on its hinges. Less than one minute, The Cynical brothers looked at each other, grunted together and pocketed their own bet money.

John though forgot about them, because his mind was in a spin. From beyond  the open door, inside the house, he could hear voices and music and as he peered in expecting darkness, what he saw was pure bright white light. He backed away nervous, yet strangely not scared. The dog wagged his tail and did his ‘I’m interested what’s going on’ bark. John turned and looked up the hill to the lorry. The brothers waved him on to the next door, they clearly didn’t see or hear anything, although he did notice the movement in the cab, as they pulled out their grubby twenty pound notes again and placed their next bet.

John went to next door, which was exactly the same, the same oak panelling, same hinges and handle. He’d got a routine now and this time one blow just under the lock freed the door and it swung open with a dull thud. This time there was more light and more music. By the time he had broken open all four  doors on one side, even the brothers could see light and music, as it pushed out through the doorways.

John stood back and surveyed his work and didn’t notice the man walking past him and heading into the house, nor the woman going in another door further along, waving to him as she did so.  He did though notice the third one and the fourth and fifth. The sixth one said as he strolled past smiling “Best get the rest of the doors open, there are a lot to come in you know”. John went to reply, but the man thrust the sledgehammer into his hand and without thinking, John set off and attacked the other twelve remaining  doors.

As each door opened, more people appeared, some singing gently to themselves, some chatting, coming from all directions, so soon there was a constant stream entering through each entrance. Men, women, young old, different nationalities, some being carried, some looking bewildered, most looking calm, happy and content.

Up the top of the drive the Cynical brothers watched, eyes now out on stalks, not believing what they were seeing. Very rubbed his eyes and Just a Bit tried counting the people and gave up. Instead they watched hundreds of people stream in through the sixteen entrances.

“Where are they all going” said Just a Bit “They’ll never all fit, that house is too small for all those people”. Almost in reply to his comment, the mansion seemed  to heave and move right there in front of them, lifting itself up a couple of feet and moving outward on all sides before dumping itself back down on its foundations with a crash, settling back on the ground.

And still the people came, appearing from all directions, joining the flowing queues going in following the light and the sound. John watched the moving people many laughing, having a good time together. He  saw his dog playing ball with a young woman, as she walked towards the mansion across the old lawn. She beckoned to him and he stepped towards her and they went into the house together. The music volume rose, the party began to start.

With a thunderous crash the mansion took another step outwards and landed right next to the lorry throwing up dirt and dust, choking Very and Just a Bit, who sat transfixed, staring up at the huge brick wall which rose up above and in front of them. The twenty pound notes fluttered to the floor.

The booming music and the blinding light filled the cab and the Cynical brothers disappeared from sight. We think forever!

Grahame Pitts August 2014

Postscript
This story was written in response to a particular difficultly I was facing. It quickly became clear that it seemed to describe something more about learning. The people here may be parts of ourselves in our inner world, or they may be actual other people who come into our lives to support and challenge us. Similarly the Cynical brothers may be imagined or real too and expanding our horizons seems to defeat, or at least reduce their hold over us.